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Q-Ships, Meskers, & UFC Tees by Mark Hatmaker


In today’s sermon we shall ramble through WWI nautical ingeniousness, Old West architecture, Major League Baseball fashion, and, if we’ve done the job right, wind up with an observation or two regarding the cost-to-benefit analysis of being a bad-ass or simply “dressing like a bad-ass.”


Let’s start with our WWI history.


Q-Ships.


What exactly is/was a Q-Ship?


Let me back up a little, let’s discuss why Q-Ships were conjured in the first place.


U-Boats.


We all know what these are. The U-Boat, or “Unterseeboot” [you guessed it, “undersea boat”] was a major contribution to Germany’s success at sea. These roving bands of submarines sank exhaustive tons of ships, cargo, let alone the number of lives lost.


Many were lost on both sides, as submarine duty is particularly hazardous-even today, all the more so in the early days of the technology.


U-Boats stalked shipping lanes, looking for ship profiles that read as easy prey and then they struck.


This strike from the shadows or depths struck many as not quite cricket, but the days of ships of the line sailing in, well, a line with colors raised high, or men marching in tight formation into cannonade was rapidly [and wisely] becoming a thing of the past.


It seems the skulking, stalking, stealthy way of war practiced by indigenous peoples the world over was returning to the “civilized” nations on a mass scale.


In response to this skulking sea gambit of the Germans, the British Navy, sought their own means of subterfuge.


A Q-Ship was any vessel disguised/decoyed as an innocuous vessel, a merchant marine ship hauling hay for instance. Their profiles were altered from standard warship silhouettes to lure U-Boats into attacking so that the Q-Ship could launch its own attack.


Many ingenious methods were used to render commercial ships somewhat war-ready or to deform the usual profile so that viewing them on the horizon via binoculars or periscope they would be considered easy prey.


In some instances, bales of hay were stacked around gun-emplacements, hinged apertures to hide gun batteries, even false smokestacks complete with re-directed smoke to mimic a tramp steamer. The methods of disguise were elaborate and thought to the tiniest detail.


One never knew when they were being watched via periscope, so even the sailors were dressed as merchant seaman, encouraged to “fake lounge” on deck, behave in manners not at all militarily.


Q-Ships went so far as to drill “panic parties”, that is, designated sailors who were to appear to “panic” at first sign of a U-Boat. They would “panic” and go so far as to abandon ship to lure the U-Boat into closer range before the decoys would be hinged away and counterfire could commence.


Ballsy tactics.


Complete commitment to deception for a purpose on both sides.


With the Q-Ship we have an example of a worthy adversary looking rather unworthy and, in most cases, non-warlike at all.


Now, let us head out West. 


If you’ve seen a Western film or Old West TV show you’ve likely seen the high fronted buildings along the main street of these towns. What often looks like a two-story hotel is a single story, what appears to be impressive marble masonry above a bank’s first floor is likely a thin sheet of pressed tin laid over a wood support.


“False fronts” for some odd reason became a thing out West. A way to give small towns or towns that hoped to survive a more prosperous appeal. The “eye appeal” was to say to an arriving train passenger, “See? We’re a town on the move!”


The “false front” phenomenon was so prevalent that entire businesses specialized in offering ready-made false fronts. One such business was The Mesker Brothers who offered a catalog of dozens of choices of pediments and cornices all made of less than a quarter inch of crafted and stamped galvanized steel and cast iron. The Mesker Brothers product was so well-known their name became a shorthand noun for false fronts.


False-fronting was an open-secret amongst westerners who always knew, “Why, that hotel ain’t got two-floors, that’s just a Mesker.”


In other words, we have here a phenomenon the exact opposite of U-Boats and Q-Ships.


U-Boats and Q-Ships were deadly serious business and sought to conceal these qualities to better do their deadly job.


Whereas, a Mesker, with its intent to be impressive fooled no one in the know. It was accepted as a go-to practice for any business or “moneyed” individual that wished to put on airs. They didn’t exactly have the cash or wooden or stone resources to actually have a second floor, or an impressive cornice, but they could drop just enough money and effort to “look” like they had a floor no one could walk on.


Which brings us to UFC T-Shirts. Tap Out gear. Tactical wear worn in the day-to-day by anyone not in the military or LE business who ain’t stopping for a gallon of milk on the way home.


What are we seeing here?


Conspicuous signaling? You betcha.


The very opposite of U-Boats and Q-Ships.


It says, “Check this out, I’m high-speed, low-drag, watch your step, Brother.”


But is it a true signal or is it a 21st-century Mesker?


Well, it could go either way, but…I have many a friend who is/was of the Special Forces cadre and in the day-to-day, they leave their SEAL capes in the Batcave.


Or consider the number of baseball caps seen in the world versus the actual number of baseball players in the world. [Any sports garb will also serve here.]


How many Major League ballplaye



rs dress like they just walked off the diamond when in line for toilet paper at Wal-Mart?


Native warriors, frontiersmen, special forces operatives, solders, Q-Ships all sport camouflage to better do what they do.


Meskers do not provide a floor to stand on, they just dress that way, and I wager they fool very few.


[For techniques, tactics, and strategies of Rough and Tumble Combat, Old-School Boxing, Mean-Ass Wrestling, Street-Ready Frontier Scrapping & Indigenous Ability culled from the historical record see the RAW Subscription Service. http://www.extremeselfprotection.com
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